May 102013

Kendandra here!

In his previous incarnations, Lucas was Evil.  That’s capital E-evil.  The kind that makes Mermaid Man wince.  How evil was he?  I’m not sure.  I wasn’t a part of Radiant Vanguard back then.  But I’m sure the level of evil was somewhere between the hammy Evil Emperor Zerg and omnicidal maniac Davros.  It is probably safe to say he’s no sweet little old lady.  Probably.  Like I said, I wasn’t there so anything I’ve got to go on is mere hearsay.  But for the record, I’m picturing Chaos as a sweet little old lady.  You can too at home if you want.  I won’t judge.

But the bottom line is Lucas’s theme should be sinister.

Ah villain themes, they are the best aren’t they?  I half want to write condescending lyrics about how Lucas is richer and better dressed any everyone else.  But then Chaos would have to sing it and if I got him to sing the world might end.  Or at least my world, he seems to hate singing.  Why?  I have no idea.  I don’t know if some kind of energy parasite attacked his vocal cords, traumatizing him for life, but the fact of the matter is he won’t sing.  But the real question is what makes a theme sound evil?  In my mind it’s pretty much a combination of two very important aspects of a song:  the key signature and selection of instruments.

So can anyone following along at home guess what type of key signature makes for the best villain songs?  Did you guess something in a minor key?  Well, damn, how did you know?  No seriously, I wonder what started the cultural phenomenon that made minor keys sound sullen or evil.  (And yes, for the record, it’s mostly the Western rooted music that applies such gravity and sensibility to the minor chords).

Now as for instrument selection, only one thing came to mind.  Lucas is wealthy, in power, and a bit shady.  To me, that screams “harpsichord”.  I’ve heard very few harpsichord pieces in the minor key that didn’t grab me by the collar, tilt my head to side and yell in my ear “rich evil bastard”.  That’s where Lucas’s theme’s main inspiration comes from:  I give you the bastard-est of rich evil bastards with harpsichord themes, Oliver.

Finally, you’ll notice in the demo that I’ve got this piece set in ¾ time.  A waltz is just another way to convey Lucas’s affluence.  After all, when you rub elbows with rich people in the Victorian era, you’re going to be doing at some kind of ball, waltzing away.

Anyway, here’s a rough demo.  All subject to change of course, and right now it’s far to short.

That’s a wrap for today, cupcakes.  Next time I think we’ll gab a bit about how bad I am at getting Fruityloops to sound like marching snare.  Speaking of the word “gab”, that’s what we call a dialog.  Dialogs are held between two people, hence the “di” part.  In other words, read and comment, even if it’s just to say you hate my guts.  Try it!  I’ve been told my guts are rather hate-able.

–Kendandra, we’re done here.